Texts Out of Context: III

"Remind me when I get home to fix the crotch in my pants. i had a minor blow out :) You can tell Pam that I was practicing my dance ;)"

"Hey you sexy hunk of man meat. How soon are you taking off?"

"Ok. That means we are getting a calling together in primary. Excellent. A whole class full of sickness carrying monkeys."

"I'm outside. Do I breed to cook he in?" (2 seconds later) "I meant do I need to come in? Stupid autocorrect"

"Do you know when you type mmmmm the phone wants to type ninjas? LOL"

"It must have been that chicken that they got last night and why they had such bad farts this morning."

"sweet dill pickle, so what? like 2.5 more hours?"

"WOOP"

(After a photo of a self scissored set of bangs) "Oh honey. Oh dear. Why do you hate yourself?"

"Yea! I like the wizard of oz!" (2 seconds later) "I like the tin man"

"There is no filangie on this plane!"

"Do you want to go shipping with me tomorrow and Nate and Elmore?" (a few seconds later) "LOL. Shopping! And Emmie!! Stupid autocorrect!"

"Balm!"

"Charming them is not really what I worry about with you. You sell charm 2 people better than anyone else I know. I worry about what you will do with her once you have caught her!"

"Naked, not baked. Stupid autocorrect."

"Mom, I don't know where Heather went. Spencer's first words to me this morning."

"Can I just tell you how freaking excited I am to be watching a movies about yah-bohs & playing the "get naked" game & just having a good time" (Geez, this one sounds like I was either hosting a brothel or going to one! Good grief!")

"The stuff I just coughed up is greenish in color and tasted funny. That's not generally a good sign."

"I'm in the bathroom"

"My brain is going crazy. I feel like a toddler on crack!"

"Happy 6 month anniversary. :) I really love you"

"Farts ok. I'm glad you got it taken date of." (2 second later) "Wow. Auto correct slaughtered that one! Haha. I meant to say : that's ok. I'm glad you got it taken care of."

"I was just thinking of how hungry I am. LOL That's ok." In response: "I'm hurrying :) Hang in there. LOL" In response to that: "I already ate Diane. Don't rush"

"Wow, timing! I'm just finishing my break. I remember. I promise. And I'll tell you about the two brides. For the same wedding. Kissing."

"So fun. Like the kind of fun that makes you want to drown puppies."
In response: "Play nice! Quiet arms! :)"
In response: "Yea. I left the store. I wanted to pop her baby belly."
In response: "Now that is a satisfying picture!"

""

"Modern family just used the term 'asshat'!!! Freaking awesome!"

"Yeah. Because there is no way to rock these bangs AND tears at the same time! :)"

"I'm sure your dad has some liquor that would help!"

"Hahahaha! Dimitri is like perching on his bike, not even pedaling  Haha I never noticed that. He just like perches across the screen with some creepy smile!!"

"All the romanovs are dead. Dead, dead, dead!!"

"I will admit that it gets funnier as you're watching. The first time you're like whaaaaaaa?"

Texts Out of Context: I
Texts Out of Context: II