New Hair

I really have a deep loathing for my blonde hair. Always have had. My first experience dying my hair dark brown came when I was 16. It was met with huge success. And after I graduated from college in 2007, I started dying my hair dark brown on a regular basis (and loved it!). However, I lost interest in the upkeep when I moved home in April 2009.

Now, the interest is back. And I'm growing to love it again. It's a tad darker than I had originally planned, but that's just how it goes, I suppose. And I have way too many red undertones in my hair, which makes it look like I wanted a dark auburn, but that's ok. I'll get the right shade in the coming months. I'm just happy to avoid the bleached blonde locks that normally creep up on me during the summer months!

So, here's hoping I don't get frustrated in a month and decide to forget it all together. My roots would be horrific! :)

Fear is Justifiable

Back in October 2010, I wrote a little post called "Fear". I wrote some very personal feelings about relationships and I have been overwhelmed at the vast number of hits it's received. And I feel that I need to add a bit to it because it seems to be the most visited/searched blog post I have yet written.


First, an update to that... "Wyatt" actually came back into my life when I thought he'd disappeared and didn't just come meandering back, no... he came back like a gale force wind. He swept into my life and it was all consuming. For several months, it was like an emotional roller coaster. Just when I thought everything was going well, he would turn around and do something that hurt me. But, as soon as I had decided to step away from him, because it was hurting me, he would swoop back in and smooth things out again. Finally, about 3 months into this, somehow this gale force wind of a man was swept away and not heard from again. And I was... in a word, devastated.


I still think of Wyatt everyday and wish that things could be different. But, the question I ask myself is WHY? Why do I still feel like I need to have him in my life? What is the point? He will just hurt me again. He's proven that. It's like his calling card. So, why the emotional pull?


I've come to a conclusion. I think that not only do I fear being in a relationship because I know I will get hurt, but I also fear it because when I get into a relationship, I jump headfirst and without pretense. I fall completely and totally immerse myself into making the other person happy, however possible. Then, when the other person pulls away, I can't turn that off. It's not like a switch I can flip and it's over.

The fear that I will also immerse myself into someone else's happiness (and knowing that I won't get that same consideration in return) and then not be able to pull back out of it when I need to... that's what makes me not want to jump into the pool of piranhas. Forgive me, but I have yet to be proven wrong in this.

So, I have come to the realization that while I wish I were able to have children of my own, being the awesome Aunt, really is the best situation for me. Because, to be candid and honest, I DON'T want to be married. And I'm independent enough that I'm OK being alone. I know that it really irks many of the people who love me, but I'm happy just being me. I don't have to fear if I'm alone. So, I am no longer looking for that spouse person (like I mentioned in the previous post), I am now looking for a career. And this new place I am in life, I'm good with it. Really. Because fear is justifiable. It keeps me safe and sound. So, good luck in my job hunt, eh?!

"You're a Natural!"

I have to say, May's new and different was such a success, I may have to make it a permanent fixture in my life. I love trapshooting!

Below: My dad showing me how it's REALLY done

Below: My dad teaching me how

Below: My dad still helping me with little tips to hit the clay just right

Below: I hit that sucker and it exploded! Yeah!

Below: Laura making my Dad and I laugh

Below: Don't ask. I'm retarded. :)

My dad and stepmother are both avid trap shooters and serve on the board of our local trapshooting club. He has been trying to get me to shoot guns with him for as long as I can remember. And, for a girly girl who was (in the past) a bit of a high maintenance gal, the thought of using a gun was both terrifying and to be honest, a bit redneck. I adamantly refused. Until now...

When my sister and I arrived at the club that afternoon, I was a little nervous, but I was mostly excited. The last time I'd shot a gun was well over 2 years prior to that and it was for a very short time. That time, I had been shooting a 22 rifle and only shot a couple rounds with some friends. I had done fairly well, but that was the only other time in my whole life I'd had anything to do with guns.

We started with Singles, shooting the clays out in a straight away and I did fairly well from the 16 yard line. That is fairly average and the easiest you can do. I only missed a few and I wanted a bit more of a challenge. So, we turned the clay machine on so that it rotated. This meant that when I shouted "Pull" the clay would release, and go in whatever direction the machine was pointed and, as the shooter, you have no clue where that is. Still, I seemed to do well. I wanted to see how difficult I could go, so I stepped back to the 27 yard line. This is the hardest you can go in the singles. And guess, what? Yea, I hit the second clay I tried. I did a pretty good job here too. So, of course, I wanted a bit more of a challenge.

We were then told that my dad's Doubles round was starting in a few minutes, so Laura and I were invited to watch. Suddenly, the idea came to me: "I want to try it!" Sure enough, as soon as my dad's round was over, he taught me what to do.

Doubles is when you have a double barrel on your shotgun, two bullets.... and TWO clays you have to shoot in the same amount of time that you would shoot a single. The trick is to figure out exactly where the clay is going to crest the trap house and shoot it as soon as it clears the house, then forget it and go for the second clay. Doubles doesn't have a rotating option, thank goodness, so the first part was pretty easy. The hardest part was trying to swing the gun around to hit that second shot without over swinging the gun. I found that it was nearly impossible to get control of the gun in just enough time to shoot that second clay.

Guess what? I still did a good job! In my dad's words, I'm "a natural".

It was so much fun and I loved every second of it. I can't wait to do it again. And since I've got the connections (Dad and Des) that shouldn't be too hard. I guess I don't have to be too afraid of guns after all. Huh... go figure!

"Hot Date" with the Marvelous Miss Em

The Marvelous Miss Em at Barnes & Noble playing with Thomas the Train Set

Getting her very first manicure

Her very first pedicure

Feeding the ducks and geese at the Greenbelt

She's got quite the arm!

Afterwards, she was exhausted!!

April's new and different was a little off the beaten path from what I've normally been inspired to do. This month, I decided that it was high time I took my sweet niece Emmie out on her very first Aunt Heather Date. Her older brother is very well versed in the famous Aunt Heather Date, but Em's only just over 2, so we had to make sure she could really appreciate it.

I picked her up at about 10 and we immediately went over to Barnes & Noble to play with the Thomas the Train playset they have set up. There, Em learned how fun, though a tad challenging, it is to play with other children while trying to carve out her own space on the train table. She actually didn't want to leave! She did so great playing with the other little kids and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Next, we went down to my favorite salon in the mall and Em got her very first mani/pedi. The lady who helped us was really nervous when we first walked in because she knew how much little kids squirm. Boy did Em prove her wrong! She sat completely still the entire time, entranced by the hot pink and turquoise nail polish being applied to her fingers and toes. Then, just for added measure, the sweet Korean lady painted a white flower on each of Em's thumbs and big toes.

Then, when her fingers and toes were dry, we headed over to McDonald's where she was able to eat quickly and play on the enormous playplace. She kept running through the maze, sliding down the slide and screaming, "Do it again!" as she raced around to go for another. She loves McDonalds! :)

After lunch, we headed over to the Greenbelt to feed the ducks and geese. And I have to say, my little sweetie pea has an amazing arm. She threw the bread so hard, she actually pelted so many of those geese before they could turn around and scramble for the bits of bread. I'm going to have to convince her mom she needs to put Em into softball when she's older. But, Em's favorite part was when she would hold out a long piece of crust and the goose would come right up to her and take the bread directly out of her hands. She would giggle and jump up and down.

Once the bread was gone, we went back across town and went shopping. Em was finally ready for her very first purse... And in the purse, we loaded her up with makeup, a mirror, a comb, new sunglasses (with Tinkerbell on them, of course!), a cell phone, bracelets, rings and two different kinds of chapstick. She was stylin'!

Of course, at this point, we were into our 5th hour of our Hot Date, so we decided to head home. It had been a long day. On the way out of town, Em sang songs to me (most of which had words I don't think the English language has ever officially recognized) and promptly fell asleep. :) She truly is the Marvelous Miss Em.

All in all, it was the best new and different so far. I love my little sweetie pea so much. When she was born, I didn't think there would ever be a way I could love her as much as I love her older brother. But, I honestly think that your heart grows. It's not like she shares my heart with him, it's like I've grown a whole other one, just for her. I'm grateful each and every day that I get to watch her grow up and love her this much. I'm the luckiest Auntie in the world.

The Real Game

The Stadium The Salt Lake Real vs the LA Galaxy

Our view of the field from our seats. (Right in the middle!!)

The crazy Real supporters

The crazy LA supporters

David Beckham.... MMmmmmm!!!

Beckham warming up

Me.... waiting for the game to start and trying not to freeze!

For the month of March, the opportunity came up for me to attend a major league soccer game with my mom, sister and sister's friend. I, never having been a major soccer fan (other than just loving David Beckham, which had NOTHING to do with soccer), wasn't really interested. But, I figured that it was something new and different I've never experienced before and, having turned down the opportunity twice before this, decided to make a go of it.

When we arrived at the stadium, it seemed there were thousands of people in a sea of red, navy blue and gold and I felt very out of my element as people clustered around talking about famous soccer plays and dropping players names. But, I knew it was just part of the total experience, so I just smiled and nodded where appropriate.

We finally got into the stadium and found our seats and I was surprised at how big the stadium actually was. I didn't think it was going to be. I was also surprised at how COLD it was! Within minutes, we were freezing! Thank goodness we remembered our winter coats, hats, gloves and some blankets!

As the game started, I immediately recognized just how good the SL Real actually were. I was impressed. But, I was more excited that I was actually getting to witness David Beckham running around the field! By half time, however, I was beginning to think that the LA Galaxy were not doing so well. The Real were winning, 2-0.

The second half proved to be much of the same. The Real were definitely on their game, where the Galaxy were not. However, I DO have to note that the Galaxy scored one goal during the second half and I was the only one on the entire side of the stadium who stood up and screamed and yelled and jumped around for joy. Yes, I made a fool of myself in my elation, and got booed. I was booed at a major league soccer game. And when the drunk guy in front of me turned around and started singing the Real chant, I started chanting "LA Galaxy" right back at him. It's not that I'm an LA fan as much as I'm just a Beckham fan. Had Beckham been playing for someone else, I would have been cheering them. I don't think the hundreds of Real fans surrounding me knew that though as they booed and yelled at me. Of course, I was nonplussed by this and continued to cheer for Beckham throughout the rest of the game.

I need to say though, at this point, my mom leaned over to me and said, "If Galaxy wins, you cannot brag as we leave the stadium. You will get jumped." :) Turns out... she had nothing to fear. Real beat Galaxy 4-1.

My opinion: I don't think I'll be going again. Don't get me wrong, it was fun enough. But, unless Beckham is playing, I don't have much interest. And the only other time he'll be playing the Real again will be in LA.

So, March's new and different: It was fun, but won't be on the instant replay anytime soon!

Great Quote

So, I heard this quote the other day and it made me smile because I really feel like, given the things happening in my life right now, this is such a great inspiration.

"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see."

I don't know who said it, but WOW! It's pretty great, eh? I have a lot of things going on in life right now (most of which, I can't or won't discuss here) that are really difficult. So, this really helped me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back on the horse. I know that everything is on the Lord's timing, it's just hard when you're hit with so many trials at once to remember that the blessings will come, just when the Lord has decided you are ready for those.

And if these trials are any indication, boy am I in for some great ones here pretty soon!! There is a silver lining!

1 Week Facebook Sober

I've been off of Facebook for a week as of tonight. It's been an interesting week.

I have had so many different people coming to me via email, blog comments, texts, etc. telling me how amazed they were that I have been strong enough to leave Facebook behind. They have said that they "wished [they] could be brave enough to do it" themselves. I'm actually blown away by those responses. I'm intrigued that those people don't think that they can do it themselves.

For those who are thinking of unplugging, let me shine a ray of hope for you...

I've been asked on a couple of different counts what I've been "filling the time spent on Facebook" with now that I've been gifted that extra time in my life. Well, I've used some time to blog, read more, spend time with my family, paint, sleep!, be more efficient and thorough at work, accomplish more at work, the list goes on. I've actually made plans to go out and see a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a long time because we kept up mainly on Facebook. This week, we are going to go see a movie... in person! And I'm going to lunch this week with another friend who I haven't seen for awhile, but it's been so long overdue! Face to face contact is going to be so much more rewarding.

It has been worth it to be off of Facebook.

Have I missed it? Sure, I'm not going to lie. But, no where near the extent that I had imagined and prepared myself to endure. There have been plenty of times where I have, without thinking about it first, gone online to get onto Facebook and realized that my instant go-to is no longer there. But, I only mourned that loss for a moment and I was quickly, and happily, back to doing whatever else I could to fill that gap of time.

Also, there was a day early on last week where I was worried about a friend of mine who was in the hospital and the only way that I've been able to keep in contact with him was through Facebook. I realized that day that I wouldn't be able to find out how he was doing any other way. So, I will admit, I had someone get online through her account and look him up for me to see if he was ok. However, in my defense, if I had had any other ways of checking up on this particular friend, I would have taken that avenue. I just didn't at the time.

So, to wrap it up, for those of you pondering whether or not you could actually delete Facebook and be FREE.... try it. You will be impressed at the amount of other things you are able to get done. You will be proud of yourself for having the willpower to overcome your addiction. And you will find yourself connecting with important people in your life that you have, even without realizing it, kept at arm's length because you didn't have to make an effort anymore.

It's been an interesting week. BUT, it's been a very rewarding one.