Elsewhere

Dear Blogosphere,

I miss you. I really do. I just don't know how I'm supposed to find time for you though. And that breaks my heart. Someday, I hope that we can come together often again. Until then, I shall bore you with a list of those things which sometimes (alright, MOST times) take precedence over you....

Alan has started school again and is taking 14 credits. That also means that I, as the loving wife who doesn't want him to fail those classes and therefore have to take them again, am helping with 14 credits of schoolwork. Mostly, my main focus is on English and Child Development. Alan's on his own with American Foundations, Horticulture and Doctrine & Covenants. So, a good portion of our evenings are spent in front of our laptops plunking away. Yuck. Thankfully, the semester is over at the end of July.

Alan and I are also both working full time. Yikes. Do you know how exhausting it is to work 8-81/2-9 hours a day and then turn around and work all evening? Yea, it's hard. Especially when my job has hit an all time high with workload. Sometimes I end up working some Saturdays, just to reach deadlines. I'm full to bursting and sometimes, things just don't get done as well as they should. And that makes me feel awful. 

We have also begun a cute little garden. Nothing too big, but they are about 3x3 foot gardens (2 of them) and we have filled them with all kinds of fruits and veggies. So between weeding and watering, we are without spare time.

Besides all those things, we are currently in the beginning of what promises to be a VERY hectic and busy summer. Between family reunions, helping parents with various activities, weddings, baby showers, bridal showers, anniversaries, birthdays and the fair... we are so solidly booked, we only have 1 free weekend left in June and 1 free weekend in August. Thankfully, July is still kind of open, but it's the next to go. Why must we always with the Go, Go, Go? Hmmm....

Hopefully, if nothing more, some posts will come about within the next few months of photo dumps, but any real blogging is sadly on the back burner.

So, my dear Blogosphere, while I miss you and love you and can't wait to return to frequent visits with you, alas, summer is here. That dreaded and yet longed for time of year has fallen upon us. It is with great regret that I inform you that should you come looking for me before fall, you will find me Elsewhere.

Much Love,

Heather

Long Overdue Vickery Family Photos

So, every Saturday after Thanksgiving, Alan's family does Family Photos. This was last year's. Sorry it's so long overdue. My sweet hubs forgot that he put them on a flash drive and then promptly stuck the flash drive into the bottom of a drawer. So kind.

These are all from oldest to youngest kid. BTW, we are missing Kyle from these photos. He goes between Corbin & Leah and Tauna. He's on a mission in England right now.

The whole Vickery Clan

Dad and Mom

Carrie, Jay, Abbie, and Spencer

Lance, Laureen, Marjorie and Joseph

Alan and I

Jarom

Justin

Corbin and Leah

Tauna

Audra

Cannon

Mel

Black Chicken Nugget Baby and Eternal Perspective

CAVEAT to this post:
This isn't going to be a fun post. It's not going to be silly or funny or even something that most will care to read. It is going to have spiritual things in it. I'm making no apologies or excuses for it. It is raw and it is exactly my thoughts. I write them for a myriad of reasons, least of all to make others feel something. This post is entirely for me. I don't write for sympathy, in fact, I don't want any of that. I write it so that I can look back and remember that I am stronger than I think sometimes. If you don't want to read it, please don't. It is very personal and I'm ok if some people don't want to read about my experience and think about it on a spiritual plane like I have to. I'm ok with that. But, you've been forewarned.

***************

Alan and I have been trying to get pregnant for awhile now. We have even been on fertility medication for it. It makes me crazy. :) Hot flashes, mood swings, irritability  irrationality, you name it. It's almost like being pregnant without actually getting the positive pee stick.

At the end of January, we had finished up our round of fertility drugs and had gone back into the doctor's office when, on Day 30, we didn't get a positive test. The PA tested my blood to see where my progesterone levels were and she told us that they were way too low and therefore there was no way that I ovulated.

She told us to go ahead and start the next round of the progesterone and on day 5 of my period, take the fertility drugs. Typically, I would start my period before I was even done with the progesterone. However, this time, the end of the progesterone came and went.

A week later, I decided I needed to call the doctor because I didn't want to wait around for my period to start, and I thought maybe we needed to get another dose of the progesterone in me, since it was low to start with. But, I knew that the first question they would ask, since it ALWAYS is, is "have you taken a pregnancy test?"

Valentine's Day morning, I hopped out of bed, went into the bathroom and took a test, knowing that it would say No, but that I would then be able to clarify to the doctor later that morning that I did, indeed, take a test and it did, indeed, say No.

It was positive.

I finally got a YES!!!

I ran out, hopped onto the bed and word vomited all over Alan: "You have to be quiet now. I took a pregnancy test this morning and it came back positive. I'm pregnant. Happy Valentine's Day." No breaths, no pauses. All in one rush.

He thought I was joking. I went in and took another one and sure enough, there it was again. That second little line of promise and hope!

Nevermind how gross we look, please!

I called the doctor and made arrangements to go in the next day for an ultrasound. I should have been 6 weeks at that point.

The next afternoon, the doctor went in and took a look around but unfortunately, nothing was showing up on the ultrasound except a black circle (the amniotic sac). He checked my levels and sure enough, they were estimating me being about 4 1/2 weeks pregnant. He had us schedule another ultrasound for 2 weeks later.

Our Black Chicken Nugget

Two weeks went by with us telling a few people and inwardly rejoicing. We were so excited.  My niece, Emmie, nicknamed it "Black Chicken Nugget Baby" because the amniotic sac on the ultrasound picture looked like a little black chicken nugget. :) I had been craving pickles (and brownies. Yes, together) and it was weird because I HATE pickles! Emmie thought that was the funniest thing and would take every opportunity to pat my tummy and say "Aunt Heather, your nugget baby is a pickle lover!" and giggle and giggle. And even though the barfing came at about 5 1/2 weeks, I would still sit in the bathroom, arms wrapped around the John, crying and thinking "I am so happy to be pregnant!".

Baby's First Presents!

The next ultrasound showed me at 6 1/2 weeks. However, the doctor sat down after he was done and everyone else skirted out of the room. We knew he wasn't going to have good news.

He said that the amniotic sac was irregularly shaped and that things didn't seem to be exactly how he would like to see them. He said that he was concerned, but not ready to throw in the towel yet. Again he said, "Let's give it 2 weeks".

The next 2 weeks were agony. We prayed, fasted, prayed some more. We went to the temple, I had Alan give me priesthood blessings. We had family and friends fasting and praying for us. And we cried.... A LOT.

By the time the two weeks were up, I had started bleeding 2 different times, but it had stopped and I was ready for answers. I refused to go into that office and have the doctor tell me to wait another 2 weeks. I was so frustrated by the fact that my body didn't make any sense. I even had to miss a good friend's bridal shower because I had suddenly started bleeding (A LOT!) without warning. I was tired of the game my body was playing.

I had made my mind up.... I didn't want to walk in there with the hope in my heart that there was a healthy baby, nor did I want to walk in there with the idea in my head that all was lost. I was Switzerland. I just wanted ANSWERS. That was March 28th.

When the doctor began the ultrasound, he had asked how I was feeling and wanted to know how the previous 2 weeks had been. I told him, in detail what had happened and he said "Well, let's give it a look and see what we find."

He searched for a good long time and took a good look at the fetus. I could see the little thing in there. It wasn't a little black chicken nugget anymore, but a fetus and a yoke sac. My heart ached for that little blob on the screen.

It was then that the doctor said, "Heather, I'm just not seeing any movement or a heartbeat. I'm sorry."

He then finished up and sat in the chair across the room from Alan and I. He said that the baby was measuring 6 1/2 weeks along. By this point, I should have been closer to 10 weeks. The baby had died at 6 1/2 weeks and it had been sitting in there for 3 1/2 weeks now. The doctor told me that there was "debris" in the sac also, which is not typically something you want to hear. It suggests that the body of the fetus, the placenta, or the yolk sac has already begun to break down.

The doctor looked at us for a few minutes and asked us what we thought he was about to say to us. I told him that I thought he was going to tell me that the baby was dead, that we should just have a D and C to get it out of there and move on. He smiled and said, "Yes, that's almost verbatim of what I was going to say, although maybe not quite so harsh." He then said that he thought we needed to move on it extremely quickly because it had been in there long enough he was concerned it would start causing me to get sick because of gangrene.

My heart was more steady than the rest of my body when I replied, "Ok, let's do it tomorrow morning then.".

We left the office and made necessary phone calls. That night, Alan had to go to dance practice and I had to get things ready for surgery the next morning.

I didn't lose it until I was in the shower and began to think about things and realized that it really was over. My baby, the tiny little thing that was no bigger than the eraser of a pencil, had been so loved, so hoped for, not just by Alan and I but also by family and friends. And it was dead. And I cried. And cried. And cried some more.

The next morning, bright and early, we went into the hospital and left that afternoon. The pain I've been experiencing is supposedly akin to labor, only it's been on and off for a week. And you would think that the physical pain is nothing to the emotional pain, right?

Let me be frank.

It's not. We have come to accept the fact that my Black Chicken Nugget baby was never meant to grow and develop into a healthy little baby that would be a part of our family. It didn't take long to accept. We know that the little Nugget was only there so that I could get the surgery that cleaned out my uterus and therefore made the way for the next baby to come in and be healthy and grow right. That is our belief.

And we believe that way because we're looking at it with an eternal perspective. This whole thing has been part of the plan set in motion for me, individually, by a loving Father in Heaven. He knows me and loves me and has created a plan that will help me get back to Him. And losing this beloved little baby, is part of that plan. So, because I believe in God, because I believe that God loves me, because I believe that He knows me so intimately and knows what I can handle, and because I believe that He has created a plan for me, I believe that that baby will be mine again someday. Somehow. All things are made right through Christ and Heavenly Father.

The next night, my nephew Nate was saying prayers and his prayer was simple, "Heavenly Father, please let Aunt Heather's Black Chicken Nugget baby to come back soon".

I believe that. I'm a firm believer that my little Nugget just wasn't ready to come from that Premortal life yet. It still had something to do up there. But, I believe that it will come back soon and come to be a part of our lives.

Until then, we still hope and have faith. And those two things sustain us. We are not sad, but hopeful. The future is as bright as our faith.

A Fun Little Survey

So, I realize that I have been acutely absent from the blogosphere and all will be explained at a later date. However, today is not that date because I have a fun little game to play that is much more exciting to me today than anything I could update y'all with!

Maren, bless her pea pickin heart, tagged me in a little survey game on her blog and therefore, due to my overdeveloped sense of responsibility, I have no other choice than to do the same.

MUST.... FULFILL.... DUTY....

*cut to a mental image of me fighting an incredible cosmic inner battle and smoke pouring out of my ears as my eyes bug out of my head*

Here is goes....

The Rules:

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the 11 questions that I answered.
3. Choose people that you want to play (11 are suggested), and tag them on your post.
4. No tag backs!


My 11 Things:

1) I have an irrational fear of clowns, sharks, bears and spiders. Like the kind of scared where you claw with your bare hands through jagged concrete to escape them.

2) I dream in full story arcs. There are typically beginnings, middles and ends. But by morning, I don't always remember all the pieces to them.

3) I have so many different things that I love to do, there truly are not enough hours in the day to do everything that I want to do. Reading, painting, writing, scrapbooking, cardmaking, spending time with family and friends, going on walks, swimming, watching movies, researching and planning for my next trip somewhere, designing floorplans, etc, etc, etc. The list just keeps going.

4) I LOVE to learn about different cultures, religions, and peoples. It's like my brain is a sponge and it just can't seem to get enough. This is why I love to travel so much and typically traveling within the confines of the USA doesn't ever feel like enough.

5) I am a convert to the Church. I was baptized at age 9, because my grandparents insisted but I rarely went to church and didn't get really active until I was about 17. I made a choice at that point and never looked back. I'm coming to find that making a choice like that and never going back on it is odd. But it never occurred to me that I shouldn't do it that way. And I've never regretted it.

6) I 100% believe that family is something you make, not what you are born with. I barely know a LOT of my family members who are blood relatives. However, I would walk through fire for some people who I have decided are my family members. Some people are in my life because I choose to make them family. Some are there because I have no other choice because I share blood. I believe there is a difference to what makes family, family.

7) I am exceptionally opinionated. BUT, I LOVE to learn and hear about other's points of view. Whether it be religion, politics or what colors best go with someone's new shag rug they bought, doesn't matter. I LOVE to hear what others think and WHY they think those things and HOW they came to that conclusion.

8) I have a sick obsession with grammar, spelling, punctuation and correct English usage.

9) I was dead for 45 minutes when I was 4 months old. I had open heart surgery and they had to "establish cardiac arrest" because they had to repair the holes. The body cavity of a 4 month old is very small and it was hard to get their big man hands in there to do the intricate work of slicing open a tiny heart and do the work inside that heart. What do you think would have happened if they had left it going? Yikes. Once that part was completed, after about 45 minutes, they were able to get my heart restarted.

10) I seem very confident and extroverted. I'm not. It is a defense mechanism I use. Most times it's when I'm nervous. If I make someone laugh, then I've controlled the situation to make the person laugh and they aren't laughing at me, but at my joke. I don't want to be a leader, but I do it when others won't step up and get something done that needs it. If I am confident, funny and loud, it tells others to be more interested in what I'm saying/doing or joke I'm telling instead of looking at how badly I may be failing at something. It may be ridiculous, but it's true. As a child, I was terribly shy and terrified of my environment. When I was home alone with my stepmother and she would leave the room, I would start crying and panicking because I was afraid she'd left me. If she would go to the bathroom, I would stop what I was doing and sit outside the bathroom door until she was done. I've overcome that one. Thank goodness! Alan would go crazy! :)

11) I have some very tender experiences to share with anyone who cares to come back and read the next post I write. But since we are still trying to make sense of it all still, it may wait a week or two.


Now for Maren's questions:

1)What is one thing you wish hadn't happened last year?

-Hmm... You know, there are only 2 things that happened last year that were awful and that was the deaths of Keely and Logan. So, if I had to say one thing, I'd have to say that I couldn't pick just one, but that I wish those two hadn't have died.

2) What is your favorite thing about yourself?

-I'd have to say that was my ability to connect with other people. I can walk up to just about anyone, start a conversation and find something to connect with them about. Then, through conversation and compassion, I can very easily come to love and care about them, even after only meeting them 5 minutes previously.

3) If you had the choice, would you want to know when you're going to die?

-Yes. I am a control freak that way. I want to know when so that I can make sure all my affairs are in order before I go, make sure those that I love know that I love them, and go on one heck of a trip to Europe!

4) What was your favorite toy/ past time as a child?

-Barbies. Gosh, I could play Barbies for hours and hours and hours. My favorite thing to do was shake the crap out of my Barbie house and pretend like there had been a tornado or earthquake. My mom and baby sitter watched a LOT of daytime soaps. :)

5) What is your ideal way to spend a weekend?

-Typically is is doing a little bit of everything. I like to have some friend time, some family time, some Me time, some Alan time, some cleaning time, some church time, some organizing time, some hobby time, and if there is any time left, a little bit of travel thrown in there to some place I've never been before.

6) What is one thing you just have to have your way every time?

-The toilet paper roll. The roll has to have the TP coming over the top. Coming from under the bottom is just all kinds of wrong!

7) Where did you go/ would you like to go on your honeymoon?

-We didn't get a honeymoon. But we would have both liked to have gone on a cruise. We will, someday.

8) What do you really want for Christmas this year?

-Pregnant, Alan to have a new job, a house, Maren to have some answers about her whack a doodle body and why it's acting the way it is so she can make a concrete decision, and probably good health.

9) You have to perform in a talent show - what is your talent?

-Playing my nose. Or, maybe telling jokes. Or, maybe they would just let me MC! That takes a talented person, folks!

10) What's your dream job?

-Stay at home wife and mommy. I'm working on it. Someday it'll happen. :)

11) What's for dinner?

- We had yummy streak, taters, and ribs! Delish! :)

TAGGING:
Here are my list of folks I'm tagging. You can play, or not play. But, it was kinda fun and I'm only tagging you because I think it would be fun to know your answers!

Ann Sorensen, Kari Warden, Melissa Vickery, Heather Crandall, Laura Velez, Megs Tracy, Janna Long (I know Maren tagged you, but I'll use you anyway!!), Corinne Proctor, Nadine MacMillan, Natalie Barrow, and Alison Anderson.

Get bloggin' Ladies! I can't wait to read them!!!

Texts Out of Context: III

"Remind me when I get home to fix the crotch in my pants. i had a minor blow out :) You can tell Pam that I was practicing my dance ;)"

"Hey you sexy hunk of man meat. How soon are you taking off?"

"Ok. That means we are getting a calling together in primary. Excellent. A whole class full of sickness carrying monkeys."

"I'm outside. Do I breed to cook he in?" (2 seconds later) "I meant do I need to come in? Stupid autocorrect"

"Do you know when you type mmmmm the phone wants to type ninjas? LOL"

"It must have been that chicken that they got last night and why they had such bad farts this morning."

"sweet dill pickle, so what? like 2.5 more hours?"

"WOOP"

(After a photo of a self scissored set of bangs) "Oh honey. Oh dear. Why do you hate yourself?"

"Yea! I like the wizard of oz!" (2 seconds later) "I like the tin man"

"There is no filangie on this plane!"

"Do you want to go shipping with me tomorrow and Nate and Elmore?" (a few seconds later) "LOL. Shopping! And Emmie!! Stupid autocorrect!"

"Balm!"

"Charming them is not really what I worry about with you. You sell charm 2 people better than anyone else I know. I worry about what you will do with her once you have caught her!"

"Naked, not baked. Stupid autocorrect."

"Mom, I don't know where Heather went. Spencer's first words to me this morning."

"Can I just tell you how freaking excited I am to be watching a movies about yah-bohs & playing the "get naked" game & just having a good time" (Geez, this one sounds like I was either hosting a brothel or going to one! Good grief!")

"The stuff I just coughed up is greenish in color and tasted funny. That's not generally a good sign."

"I'm in the bathroom"

"My brain is going crazy. I feel like a toddler on crack!"

"Happy 6 month anniversary. :) I really love you"

"Farts ok. I'm glad you got it taken date of." (2 second later) "Wow. Auto correct slaughtered that one! Haha. I meant to say : that's ok. I'm glad you got it taken care of."

"I was just thinking of how hungry I am. LOL That's ok." In response: "I'm hurrying :) Hang in there. LOL" In response to that: "I already ate Diane. Don't rush"

"Wow, timing! I'm just finishing my break. I remember. I promise. And I'll tell you about the two brides. For the same wedding. Kissing."

"So fun. Like the kind of fun that makes you want to drown puppies."
In response: "Play nice! Quiet arms! :)"
In response: "Yea. I left the store. I wanted to pop her baby belly."
In response: "Now that is a satisfying picture!"

""

"Modern family just used the term 'asshat'!!! Freaking awesome!"

"Yeah. Because there is no way to rock these bangs AND tears at the same time! :)"

"I'm sure your dad has some liquor that would help!"

"Hahahaha! Dimitri is like perching on his bike, not even pedaling  Haha I never noticed that. He just like perches across the screen with some creepy smile!!"

"All the romanovs are dead. Dead, dead, dead!!"

"I will admit that it gets funnier as you're watching. The first time you're like whaaaaaaa?"

Texts Out of Context: I
Texts Out of Context: II

2012: A Year in Review

Oh gosh... I sure failed at some of those pesky resolutions from last year. Hmm. Ah... well, I suppose I won't get too down on myself since I was able to accomplish some of them. And, seriously, the year I complete ALL of my resolutions to the T, I'll probably die of shock anyway! :)

Let's review, shall we? If you just said "Um, no thanks" then please feel free to wait a few weeks for the next post and I'm glad you stopped by. If you didn't, then read on!

Here was my list of Resolutions for this past year:

"~Blog once a week (once a month about an important person, once a month Free Writing, and the other weeks will be a fun list of my favorite things)
~No more soda (I have to cut back. I drink soda too much and I'm addicted to it. Not just for the caffeine, but for the burn. I love the stuff. And I have to be done. I'm so tired of being so tired all the time and I think that part of the problem is my soda consumption.)
~Work out (I'm not going to explain this one because it's going to vary a little because of the ongoing problems with my shoulder and the nerve damage there)
~Take Nate and Em on an Aunt Heather Date each month (Maren helped me realize that I really have the best of both worlds by being the Auntie. I never have to deal with the puke and the whining, but I get to spend as little or as much time with them as I want. Best job in the world!!)
~New J (Not going to explain this one either because I don't know who's going to read this and it's a secret for right now)
~New B (See above)

Carry Overs:
~Bear Testimony 3 times (This was a very good resolution for me and I think I need it again this year)
~Flowers for Ty only 2 times (Also a good one for me. It keeps things in check for me)
~Temple Once a Month (Umm... see above)"

So, I suppose we see that I didn't blog once a week. Oops. Life got really busy once I met and started dating Alan, so it was hard to keep up on this and do all the other fun things going on with life. 

The soda thing... yea, I started out the year great! But, I had a big change come into my life in the form of a new job (more discussion on this in a moment) and that meant having to work 10 hour days which required (and I'm really using that word correctly here because it actually REQUIRED it, for my sanity and for the sake of all my co worker's lives) drinking copious amounts of soda to survive the day. 

I didn't work out much. HOWEVER, I DID find out more about the problems with my shoulder! I went to the doc and got an MRI done. I have a torn tendon and he thinks there is damage to the rotator cuff. He recommends surgery, but Alan and I have, through our research, discovered a great therapy called Prolotherapy and I'm going to try to give that a go this year sometime and see what that does. We'll see.

I didn't get to take Nate and Em on too many dates this year because I was too busy dating and marrying my eternal companion. However, I will say that he LOVES kids and he loves to spend time with Nate and Em, so it's all worked out for the best. I still get to see them lots, but I just don't do the Aunt Heather dates very often.

The New J was a new job. And, like mentioned above, I DID get the new job. I started working at Bonneville County in the Assessor's Office in March. It meant $2 more an hour, paid time off, paid holidays and insurance. It was a real, grown up job. HOWEVER, I hated it. Not as much what I was doing, but who I was working with. Don't get me wrong, there were several really great people that I met and really enjoyed, but there were 3-4 people who were backstabbing, conniving, two faced jackals and it made working there hell. So, by the beginning of June, I quit and came back to my old job where "everybody knows my name". I know what I'm doing here, I'm good at what I do, and I can stand the people. There isn't all the gossip, or the back biting, or throwing others under the bus, or lectures from crazy old ladies who wear too much makeup and have bad breath, etc, etc, etc. Here, at my old job, I am free to discuss the Gospel and church related topics. At the new job, it wasn't allowed and was often times attacked. I couldn't live life like that and I'm happy to be "home".

The New B was a new boy. Wow! Did that one ever happen! In case you missed it, I got married this year. And I'm happier than I've ever been. We were sealed in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple on July 28th and we've been married just over 5 months now. It's awesome!

The carryovers didn't do so hot this year either. I didn't bear my testimony 3 times because I have been ward jumping all year due to travel, going to Alan's ward before we were married, just starting into a new ward, etc. I feel bad about this one. Flowers got laid on Ty's grave both on Memorial Day and his birthday this year. I feel like I am FINALLY getting to a peaceful place about it and forgiving myself for not seeing him and taking that time before he was gone. So, this one is a good one, but it will change for this upcoming year I think. And going to the temple once a month was a bit spotty here at the end of 2012 and I feel really bad about that. I've felt the lack of it. It won't be that way this year. 

So, I suppose if you look at numbers, I really got a giant F, not even an A for effort, this year. I do feel like I accomplished a lot, but most of which weren't on my list here. Yes, I got a new boy and married him. Yes, I got a new job, only to realize I was happier with the old one. Yes, I stopped drinking soda, but started right back up later. Yes, I blogged more than I ever had before, but not as much as I'd promised. So, I suppose, I will just have to try again this upcoming year. Try and try again... :)

This year's resolutions have more personal and spiritual goals, but there are also some financial goals in there as well. And I had several (and I MEAN several) on my list, but I've had to cut them down. I'm only one person, after all!

Personal:
~Read at least 1 book every month
Maren gave me a great gift for my birthday/Christmas. She gave me "a book a month" and I am so excited. I haven't opened them all because I'm not allowed to, but I'm telling you... it's driving me batty! I LOVE this and I'm super excited for it!

~A baby
We have been trying to get pregnant for a month or two, but my doctor has told me that there is no reason to sit around and wait for it to happen, so she has me on fertility drugs right now so that it can happen fast. I'm only allowed to be having babies for the next 6 years because of my heart and we want as many babies as we can in that amount of time. So, we are getting going with that. Hopefully, by this time next year, there will be a cute little bambino in our family! Any extra prayers on our part for this to happen quickly and effectively would be greatly appreciated!

~Blog at least twice a month
Trying to blog once a week was hard, but giving myself a little more leeway to blog at least 2 times a month (and not be strict about when those happen) will be the key to success here, I think.

~Send birthday cards for each birthday
Alan has his two parents and 13 brothers and sisters. I have four parents and 6 brothers and sisters. That is a LOT of birthday presents. So, instead, this year, everyone is getting a card instead. Handmade. By me. :S

~No more caffeine
This one is inspired by the bambino. I can't control an awful lot about my health, but they say you shouldn't take in a lot of caffeine when you are preggerrated, and that is one that I CAN control, so I'll do it. Plus, I wanted to get off the juice for a while now. The baby just gives me a good excuse.

~Get out of "The Cave"
We live in a storage shed behind my dad's house that has been recently converted into a one bedroom, 3/4 bath apartment. It has one window. It is the kind of window you put in your shower. And that's in the kitchen area. The bedroom is quite big, but has no natural light whatsoever. Oh, and there is no air circulation system. None. So, for a girl who consistently gets respiratory illnesses, that's no bueno. And there is hardly any insulation, so it's hard to keep warm in the winter and cool in the summer. BUT, don't misunderstand me... I'm grateful for a place to live. I'm grateful the rent is cheap. I'm grateful for some privacy as a newlywed. I'm grateful that it can be heated and for the air conditioner that Dad bought last summer when it was close to 100 degrees in The Cave. And I'm grateful that Alan and I have been given the chance to have no other choice other than to get along because it's such a small, tight space because it is teaching us to appreciate what we have individually and together. However... a goal for this year is to get out of The Cave and either buy a small house or rent somewhere. We desperately need to stop living out of our storage unit that's a mile away. Plus, if we throw a baby into the mix... yeah.... we need some more space and the ability to heat/cool the place more efficiently. Am I right?

Spiritual:
~Finish the BOM
Did you know that Alma takes F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to get through? Yea... we've been camped out for months.

~Read scriptures and have prayer with Alan every single night
This one we normally do, but sometimes we miss. And I don't want to miss.

~Attend the temple once a month (this is a carry over from last year)
I am adamant about this one. I feel the difference when I don't go.

~Read, mark and study ALL Conference talks
I try to do this each year, but I somehow fall short each time. This year, I'm setting myself a goal and hopefully I can attain it.

~Write down something I'm grateful for each day
This one was inspired by a talk by Pres. Uchtdorf in the last General Conference about being happy now and enjoying life instead of waiting to be happy when something in the future is attained. You can read the talk here: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/of-regrets-and-resolutions?lang=eng&query=write+down+each+day


Financial:
~Pay off the car 
We just recently (like on the 29th of December) had to purchase a new car because on Christmas Eve, Alan's Intrigue gave up the ghost on the side of the road on our way to spend the holidays with his family. So, alas, the purchase was necessary, but I hate having a car payment. Hopefully, we will have it paid off by July. It really is a glorious car. It's 2006 Malibu with 90K miles on it. It's in relatively perfect condition and most of the miles are highway miles because the previous owner used it to drive from Boise to AZ for work. So, it's a lovely car and will last us a good long time. I just hate payments. Fingers are crossed for the end of July.

~Apply Dave Ramsey's financial peace program to our lives
We have a book about Dave Ramsey's financial program and both have the desire to really get it going in our lives. And that was one of the major resolutions Alan and I made together. 

~Get a $1000-$1500 cushion in a saving account for rainy days
Mostly this is because I'm terrified that something will happen and we won't be able to take care of it ourselves. So, to have a little set aside in an emergency fund is a must.

So, this is a big year. There are 14 goals there. I don't know that I've ever given myself that many. I WILL say that some of them are bigger chunks of things and will therefore be a bit easier because they are one big thing. The everyday, every week, every month ones are the ones that will be hard for me. They are just harder to remember sometimes.

Anywho... here we go! I'm hoping that 2013 will be a great year! Whoo!

My Favorite Things: Z

Zoos:

I really love to go to zoos! What's not to love? Animals running around doing silly things all day, yummy snacks, little kids staring in awe and wonderment. Seriously! Zoos are cool, people! I can't wait for the day I get to go to San Diego Zoo. It's gonna be awesome. The one here in town is super lame, so one day it will be great to go see a real zoo at it's finest!